archaeologist|for|hire

Ok that’s enough Loki spam for now. I apologize for nothing.

Gentle readers! I haven’t forgotten about you! It’s been far too long since I’ve posted anything of substance (there’s been quite a bit of Tumblr-ing though) and I figured now was as good a time as any to rant a little about 2 things that were re-brought to my attention yesterday. They are as follows:

American Digger. Yep, nothing’s changed on that one but a short conversation with my dad about it brought up all the familiar feelings of rage and frustration about this show and how it is representative of a much greater misunderstanding of how history and historical things actually work…plus a sprinkling of fearing for humanity on the whole. Ric Savage is a moron. I have no problems saying that and sending it out into the interwebs. He and his team are morons who have no concept of history, especially American history (I don’t even want to think about what their brains would do if someone told them there was a whole load of other, older cultures out there) and are only doing what they do in expectation of a big payoff by selling their finds to questionable individuals or businesses. It’s quite simple really. If anyone on their ‘team’ was actually a trained professional in any way they would know that the items they are hunting for will continue to hang out quite happily in the ground, where they were left, for a really, really long time. Nothing is ‘rotting away’ waiting for some gracious group of humans to come rescue it from its earthen prison. Hell, even organic material can last for thousands of years if it ends up in the right situation! I really wish there was a way to make this announcement to humanity. I know looting has been a time-honored tradition since people decided to bury other people with nice shiny things, but still. This idiocy needs to end and I really wish there was a way to go about successfully educating people about it. This brings me to my second point…

TV! TV is by far the best way to get information out there, especially when it comes to things like history and science. I’m a pretty avid TV watcher and I LOVE (yes, in all caps) when I come across a well-made documentary about a subject I’m interested in. Sadly, the last few years have seen a sharp decline in documentary quality and subject material. I can’t even watch shows about my beloved Egyptians anymore because it’s all sensationalized and rehashed information. Luckily, there are some mind-blowing shows on things like space (Wonders of the Universe I love you so much it hurts) and cool animals (vampire squids!!) so I do occasionally have something good to watch. However, and this is a pretty big however, the offerings in the history/archaeology department SUCK. They suck pretty hard and have done so for some time now. Looking back, I realize the beginning of the end was ‘Digging for the Truth’. I have a whole ‘nother rant on that subject but for now I will say that simply taking an adventurous-looking dude and dressing him up like Indiana Jones does not in any way make him qualified to speak on such matters as ancient cultures and/or history. Nor does replacing that guy with a former Air Force pilot fix the problem. I mean, really. What even happened there? I’m totally fine with the fact that the vast majority of people associate archaeology/history things with Indiana Jones. That’s totally cool. I love Indy as much as the next person (even though I cannot stand Temple of Doom) and it’s all good times (except for the not-to-be-named 4th film ¬_¬). However, there needs to be a break in the portraying of archaeology and archaeologists as simply Indiana Jones types. I’m definitely aware that if one were to simply film an average excavation, it would be truly terrible TV. There’s no question there. However, it’s misleading to constantly send out this message to a very easily influenced audience that all we ever do is go on wild globe-trotting adventures while wearing fedoras. Honestly, I look terrible in fedoras. I can usually manage a cowboy hat but even that is pushing it. For my last dig I ended up purchasing a super floppy oversized gardening hat, which ended up being awesome because I had my own shade everywhere I went. But I digress…The main reason this rant popped up again is because I saw a posting about a casting call for a new history-themed show for a major network. My first thought, as always, was, “Awesome! I wonder what it’s about and I hope they need some ladies involved!” Sadly, the first thing it mentioned was the need for a male host (of the good-looking adventurer sort, no doubt). Don’t get me wrong, I know a ton of guys who would be excellent for this job but the larger issue is the lack of women on TV talking about historical matters. There was a brief moment when ‘Out of Egypt’ was on (secondary rant: How dare they steal the title of my MA dissertation. UGH) and I tried to watch it but it was just so…boring. This is no fault of Dr. Kara Cooney, who seems like she’d be pretty awesome to have as a professor or hang out with, but the show itself was just dull. I’d like to think that someday there might be an opportunity for a female host of a history-centric show where the subject matter was interesting and the show itself was fun and engaging without pandering to either the Indiana Jones thing or to the audience (people tend to be a bit smarter than they’re given credit…sometimes…). I do realize that a large problem is that the areas of the world where all the good stuff is (Near East, Middle East, various parts of Asia, etc.) tend to be very unfriendly for those of us of the female persuasion so it is easier for males (host and crew, let’s say) to move around and work there. I have a very hard time putting into words just how mad that entire situation makes me, but for the moment it will be described thusly: It sucks.

The only other offerings from various other networks only seem to be of the ‘are the pyramids older than we thought?!?!?!?!?’ variety. Did I miss some great global memo? Is it really so hard to believe that people (humans) built some big stuff but perhaps used methods we don’t use now? Humans did it, it was awesome and aliens played no part in it whatsoever. Deal with it. I don’t want to see another show about Atlantis either. If someone actually finds that bloody island, THEN there can be a new show. Until then, I don’t want to hear about it. It only encourages the crazies. 

I suppose the bottom line is the following sentiments that are products of my current unemployment and general frustration with my chosen field multiplied by the fact that I live in Los Angeles which is THE WORST place for someone who studied things in the ancient Near East and Classical Mediterranean:

-I want to make a show that is as awesome as Wonders of the Universe but about archaeology and history. I really hope other people would also like to see that because I would watch that so hard. 

-I want there to be some qualified female hosts telling me about awesome historical things on my TV. I’ll humbly submit myself. I don’t want fame or anything like that but dammit it needs to get done and I want it done right. I’d totally try and get Patagonia as a sponsor though. They rock. 

-I want airline prices to be affordable so I can actually go travel and do some research of my own in places like Egypt. I may not be getting a PhD anytime soon (or ever…sigh) but I have interests and I want to pursue them!  

-I want to help fix the embarrassing excuse of a history education that the average American gets. It’s sad and it needs to be rectified immediately because I’m tired of people making mistakes/doing things that have been done before and expecting different results. Learn from history, people. 

-I want Ric Savage, American Diggers and Digger to leave my TV immediately or I want the opportunity to exchange some words with the cast and crews of both shows. This needs to stop.

-Speaking of things that need to stop, looters (in Egypt and the rest of the world) need to take a seat and look at their lives and their choices. I can’t even put into words how mad both of those situations make me. Can people stop actively destroying my history, please? 

That’s all for now as I try to sort out my many feels about being an archaeologist and continue to look for gainful employment that isn’t ridiculous or involves living for months in the middle of nowhere. 

P.S.

The title of this post is indeed a reference to this Penny Arcade strip.